Doctor - Patient Jokes from Cellmantra.com

Doctor - Patient

Q: What's the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist? 
A: One treats what you have, the other thinks you have what he treats.

Doctor: You should take atleast 10 glasses of water everyday.
Patient: It's impossible, Doctor

Doctor: Why?
Patient: I have only 4 glasses at home!

Patient: What is the cost of plastic 
surgery?
Doctor: It is near about 10,000$.

Patient: Well, what if we arrange the plastic?

Doctor says to the patient: “Your coughing sounds much better."

The patient replies: “And no wonder. I spent a lot of time in practicing.”

Patient: Doctor, You Must Help Me. 
I Keep Losing My Temper With People.

Doctor: Tell Me About Your Problem. 
Patient: I Just Did, You Stupid Bastard.

Doctor: Hello, did you come to see me with an eye problem?

Patient: Wow, yes, how can you tell?

Doctor: Because you came in through the window instead of the door.

Q: What did the man say to the x-ray technician after swallowing some money? 
A: "Do you see any change in me?"

Doctor: The payment cheque you gave me has bounced back from the bank. 

Patient: Because the disease you cured before, had returned as well.

Doctor:What happened to you ?

PATIENT:I am going to die in a minute.

DOCTOR: WAIT! I am coming within five minutes.

A crazy patient went to the doctor and
asked, " If a toothless dog bites me
what treatment you would do?''

Doctor- " Nothing I would give you a
needleless injection"

Patient: Doctor, please do the operation safely. This is my first operation. 


Doctor: Don't worry!  It’s my first operation too.

Medicine shop: 

Buyer: Do you sell this medicine? 
Seller: Yes. 

Buyer: It’s fake and poisonous. 
Seller: But nobody complained about it before. 

Buyer: How can dead people complain?

Once a man ran to the Doctor,

My wife accidentally drank some petrol. Now she is running in the house. What should I do?' 


Doctor smiled, 'Lock all the doors and windows in the house. She will stop when the petrol is over.'

Operation successful!! You can hear everything from now. 


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